MHS

bot.js

@@ -5,23 +5,184 @@ var botID = process.env.BOT_ID;
 
 function respond() {
   var request = JSON.parse(this.req.chunks[0]),
-      botRegex = /^\/cool guy$/;
-
+      botRegex = /^\/cool guy/;  botRegexDL = /^\/DDL/i;botRegexSalt = /^\/salt/;botRegexRules = /^\/rules/
+      botRegexAd=/^\/advance/;botRegexTrades = /^\/trades/; botRegexSC = /^\/SDL/i; botODB = /(.*\s+)(.*odb)(\s+.*)/i; botDuck = /^\/duck/;
+      botRegexP = /^\/PDL/i;  botRegexTw = /^\/twitch/i; botRegexSb = /^\/sub/; botRegexSh = /^\/shrug/; botRegexWk = /^\/users/; botRegexCC = /^\/cc/;
+      botRegexSiege = /^\/siege/; botRegexOW = /^\/ratings/; 
+      botRegexBurn = /^\/burn/; botRegexDrink = /^\/drink/;
+      botRegexReid = /^\/reid/;botRegexKys = /^\/kys/; botRegexSlam = /^\/slam/; botRegexLyd = /^\/lyd/;
+      botRegexHarper = /^\/harper/; botRegexGooden = /^\/gooden/; botRegexCheesy = /^\/cheesy/;
+      botRegexDaf = /^\/dafuq/; botRegexAyy = /^\/ayy/;
+      siege1 = 'https://i.groupme.com/350x419.png.adc8c73a6c1547e0a9e04320296329f8'; siege2 = 'https://i.groupme.com/1279x752.jpeg.aa5d0401e0df495bba4b4e09dc5a6bd7'
+      siege3 = 'https://i.groupme.com/960x960.png.006e180e05d841c6a2962e844bf1e6fd';
+  var teamAb = ["NE","NO","ARI","PHI","CLE","TEN","OAK","DAL","IND","SEA","CIN","PIT","JAC"
+                ,"BAL","SD","DEN","MIN","ATL","KC","NYG","GB","DET","HOU","STL","CHI","CAR",
+                "MIA","BUF","SF","WAS","NYJ","TB"]
   if(request.text && botRegex.test(request.text)) {
     this.res.writeHead(200);
-    postMessage();
+    postMessage(cool());
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexBurn.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://media.giphy.com/media/pQmWjYrz39YAg/giphy.gif");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexDrink.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKBcK5ywsaeBm4U/giphy.gif");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexReid.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://media.giphy.com/media/g9RplpKZNkT5u/giphy.gif");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexKys.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://www.wikihow.com/Tie-a-Noose");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSlam.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/587294731471757313/ZpI5PfKq.jpg");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexDaf.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/787/356/d6f.jpg");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexLyd.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://media2.giphy.com/media/pUeXcg80cO8I8/200.gif#4");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexHarper.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://i.imgur.com/qTkLD6V.jpg");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexGooden.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://scontent.ford1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15826744_10209145069717099_8029939462810176348_n.jpg?oh=7a85b5c900234acca9a516e4de1f5e36&oe=592150A9");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexCheesy.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://media.giphy.com/media/oGBw7OaVBei1W/giphy.gif");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexDL.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/CandC/players?name=&position=all&team="+request.text.substring(5,8));
+    //postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/CandC/team/"+request.text.substring(5,8)+"/depthchart");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+
+  else if(request.text && botRegexOW.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("www.daddyleagues.com/CandC/maddenrating/");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSalt.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://i.imgur.com/B5BSVqH.png");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexAd.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://www.hackcollege.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/kno_advance.jpg");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexRules.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://www.daddyleagues.com/CandC/rules");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexTrades.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://www.daddyleagues.com/CandC/forum");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSC.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+
+    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/CandC/team/"+request.text.substring(5,8)+"/schedule");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexP.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    var req = request.text.substring(5,request.text.length);
+    var rep = req.replace(/ /,"+");
+    postMessage("http://daddyleagues.com/CandC/players?name="+rep+"&position=all&team=all");
+
+    this.res.end();
+  }  
+
+  else if(request.text && botRegexTw.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://www.twitch.tv/"+request.text.substring(8,request.text.length));
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSb.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://www.reddit.com/r/maddenall32");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSh.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("¯\\_(ツ)_/¯");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botRegexWk.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1kJqQWCq3RKiTrd4f71FFNKr-Y0ppJzjk0fSF0rP6Bto/edit?usp=sharing");
     this.res.end();
-  } else {
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botODB.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("OBJ*");
+    this.res.end();
+  } 
+  else if(request.text && botDuck.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("http://media3.giphy.com/media/YCseTHF2I6CCA/giphy.gif");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexCC.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("https://i.groupme.com/851x1184.jpeg.330228901f684b0cb46cd1cef6953923");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+  else if(request.text && botRegexCC.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    postMessage("(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞");
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+
+  else if(request.text && botRegexSiege.test(request.text)) {
+    this.res.writeHead(200);
+    if(0.6 >= Math.random() > 0.3)
+      postMessage(siege1);
+    else if(Math.random() >0.6)
+      postMessage(siege3)
+    else
+      postMessage(siege2);
+    this.res.end();
+  }
+
+  else {
     console.log("don't care");
     this.res.writeHead(200);
     this.res.end();
   }
 }
 
-function postMessage() {
-  var botResponse, options, body, botReq;
+function postMessage(response) {
+  var botResponse,options, body, botReq;
 
-  botResponse = cool();
+  botResponse = response
 
   options = {
     hostname: 'api.groupme.com',
@@ -53,5 +214,9 @@ function postMessage() {
   botReq.end(JSON.stringify(body));
 }
 
+function getRandomInt(min, max) {
+  return Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min)) + min;
+}
+
 
-exports.respond = respond;
+exports.respond = respond;